Official Statements and Updates
Date: 26/10/2024
A letter to the people of Canada,
My fellow Canadians, a troubling report has crossed my desk.
From the fish factories of St. John's to the farmer's markets in core voter base area BC, we all know Canadians know the CBC is a corrupt den of lies and hate speech, masquerading as news. For decades, liberal lies and woke agendas have been forcefully shoved down the gullets of the eyes, ears, and gullets of hardworking, nubile Canadians across our resource-rich land.
However, what I have learned today shocks and appalls the core of everything I claim to be. The CBC has gone too far and is indoctrinating our children. Let me repeat, children, Canada's most important non-oil and gas-based resource, are falling victim to the brainwashing tactics of the so-called "Canadian" Broadcast Corporation.
They hide their woke agendas and liberal lies in bright colours, in cartoons, and in paid crisis actor performers pretending to talk to puppets. They are the real puppets, and Justin Trudeau is the master pulling their strings.
In particular, I am told of a small child, so overflowing with liberal lies, she practically begged her hardworking, hat-wearing father to watch the evil CBC, so she could continue the flow of lies connected directly to Trudeau's so-called brain.
This Canadian father, who has spent all week driving his pickup truck down our great roads and highways—left neglected by the Liberal/NDP alliance to trap him and other Canadians in 15-minute cities—driving to and from his hardworking job, is now expected to give up his God-given rights to watch television, only so he can also be bombarded with socialist lies spewing from a puppet that's never worked a day in its life.
This must stop. The lies must stop. We must save Canada from these felt abominations and animated atrocities. Axe the animation. Poison the puppets. I am calling for a complete ban on puppets and children's animation. For too long, they've poisoned the minds of young Canadians—Canada's most important non-oil and gas-based resource—and this must stop now.
We can keep Sailor Moon if we re-dub it to remove the woke. Even I can't cancel those legs.
- The Far-Right Honorable Pierre Poilievre
Date: 09/11/2023
Too Long Have We Bowed to the Flashy Mencace of UI/UX Design
My friends, we are gathered here today to address the biggest threat to our online experience: CSS and JavaScript. These technologies are the scourge of the internet, the very embodiment of chaos and confusion.
Think about it - every time you visit a website filled with excessive styles and dynamic elements, don't you feel overwhelmed and frustrated? Doesn't it take you longer to find what you're looking for, and doesn't it make your browser sluggish and slow? Plus with CSS you can use all kinds of woke colors that they want your kids to be seeing.
And what's worse, these technologies are responsible for turning the internet into a never-ending cycle of updates and patches. Every time you turn around, there's a new version of CSS or JavaScript, and web developers are constantly scrambling to keep up. It's madness, I tell you - pure, unadulterated madness!
But we can change this. We can take a stand against the forces of complexity and clutter, and embrace a simpler, more straightforward way of building websites. We can go back to basics, to the pure and unadulterated form of the internet - plain old HTML.
With HTML, we can create websites that are easy to navigate, fast to load, and not WOKE. We can strip away all the unnecessary bells and whistles of UX design, and focus on what really matters - the content. CSS and JavaScript are not only responsible for creating cluttered and chaotic websites, but they also represent a grave threat to our privacy and security. Through JavaScript, the media is able to track our every move online, collecting data about our habits, preferences, and personal information. They use this data to manipulate us, to control our behavior, and to invade our privacy. We must reject these tools and demand a simpler, more transparent web experience. We must resist the seductive allure of flashy UI/UX design and embrace a more humble, more honest approach. Only then can we truly be free from the insidious reach of the media and their nefarious plans.
So I urge you, my followers, to join me in this noble cause. Let us rise up against the tyranny of CSS and JavaScript, and embrace the pure and simple beauty of HTML. Together, we can make the internet a better place for all.
Freeedom